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为什么叫亲人的名字很尴尬
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为什么叫亲人的名字很尴尬
他们并不是不记得朋友和熟人的名字，而是直呼姓名会让他们感到焦虑、恶心，或者很尴尬。 
双语精读
The Steel King, Andrew Carnegie, reportedly secured business deals by naming companies after at least one competitor and a would-be buyer, and maintained employee morale by calling his factory workers by their first name.
据传，钢铁大王安德鲁·卡耐基用至少一个竞争对手和潜在买家的名字为公司命名，从而确保达成商业交易；他还直呼工厂工人的名字，从而提振员工的士气。
"If you don't do this," Dale Carnegie warned his readers, "you are headed for trouble." By Carnegie's measure, plenty of people are in serious jeopardy. It's not that they don't remember what their friends and acquaintances are called; rather, saying names makes them feel anxious, nauseated, or simply awkward.
戴尔·卡耐基提醒读者：“如果你不这么做，就会陷入麻烦。”用卡耐基的标准衡量，许多人正处于严重的危险之中。他们并不是不记得朋友和熟人的名字，而是直呼姓名会让他们感到焦虑、恶心，或者很尴尬。
In 2023, a group of psychologists dubbed this phenomenon alexinomia. People who feel it most severely might avoid addressing anyone by their name under any circumstance.
2023年，一群心理学家将这种现象命名为“恐名症”。情况最严重的人可能在任何情况下都会避免用名字来称呼他人。
For others, alexinomia is strongest around those they are closest to. Some people can't bring themselves to say the name of their wife or boyfriend or best friend-it can feel too vulnerable, too formal, or too plain awkward.
对其他人来说，对于他们最亲近的人，恐名症表现最为强烈。有些人没法让自己喊出妻子、男友或最好朋友的名字，这会让人感到太脆弱、太正式，或者太尴尬。
The social function of names in Western society is, in many ways, an outlier. In many cultures, saying someone else's given name is disrespectful, especially if they have higher status than you. Even your siblings, parents, and spouse might never utter your name to you. Opting for relationship terms (auntie) or unrelated nicknames (little cabbage) is the default.
在西方社会，名字的社会功能在很多方面都是异于其他文化的存在。在许多文化中，直呼他人名字是不尊重的行为，尤其是对方地位比你高时。即便你的兄弟姐妹、父母、配偶，可能也从来不会直呼你的名字。人们会默认使用亲属称谓（阿姨）或非亲属昵称（小白菜）。
Meanwhile, American salespeople are trained to say customers' names over and over again. It's also a common tactic for building rapport in business pitches, during telemarketing calls, and on first dates.
与此同时，美国的销售人员接受的培训是要反复说出顾客的名字。这也是在商业提案、电话推销、初次见面时，建立融洽关系的常见策略。
Names are a special feature of conversation in part because they're almost always optional. When an element of a conversation isn't grammatically necessary, its use is likely socially meaningful, Steven Clayman, a sociology professor at UCLA, told me.
名字是对话中的特殊元素，部分原因在于名字几乎总是可选项。加州大学洛杉矶分校的社会学教授史蒂文·克莱曼告诉我，当对话中的某个元素在语法上并非必需时，它的使用很可能具有社会意义。
Clayman has studied broadcast-news journalists' use of names in interviews, and found that saying someone's name could signal-without saying so directly-that you're speaking from the heart.
克莱曼研究了广播新闻记者在采访中对名字的使用，他发现，叫出某人的名字可以表明——而不是直接说明——你是在发自内心地说话。
"It may be that folks with alexinomia have this gut intuition, which is correct, that to use a name is to take a stand, to do something-and maybe something you didn't intend," Clayman said. Another person could misinterpret you saying their name as a sign of closeness or hostility.
克莱曼说：“有恐名症的人可能是因为有一种直觉，这种直觉是对的，就是总觉得叫名字是在表明立场，是在做某件事，而且可能是你原本没打算做的事。”你叫出别人的名字，可能会被对方误解为这是亲近或敌意的表现。
Alexinomia is a mostly harmless quirk of the human experience. Still, if you avoid saying the names of those closest to you, it can skew their perception of how you feel about them. One of Ditye's study participants shared that her husband was upset by her inability to say his name. It made him feel unloved.
恐名症是基本无害的、有些奇怪的人类体验。不过，如果你不喊最亲近的人的名字，这可能会让他们误解你对他们的感受。迪蒂耶的一位研究参与者分享道，她无法叫出丈夫的名字，丈夫对此感到很难过，认为自己不被爱。
As Dale Carnegie wrote, "a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language." Pushing through the discomfort and simply saying their name every now and then can remind your loved ones that you care.
正如戴尔·卡耐基所写，“在任何语言中，一个人的名字对那个人来说都是最甜美、最重要的声音。”克服不适感，时不时地叫出他们的名字，可以让你爱的人感受到你的关心。
词汇预习
- formal [高考]
美[ˈfɔːrml] | 英[ˈfɔːml]
adj. 正式的；正规的；形式的；公开的；拘谨的；有条理的 - competitor [高考]
美[kəmˈpetɪtər] | 英[kəmˈpetɪtə(r)]
n. 竞争者；对手 - element [高考]
美[ˈelɪmənt] | 英[ˈelɪmənt]
n. 要素；元素；（学科的）基本原则；(复数)恶劣天气；元件 - inability [高考]
美[ˌɪnəˈbɪləti] | 英[ˌɪnəˈbɪləti]
n. 无能；无力 - harmless [高考]
美[ˈhɑrmləs] | 英[ˈhɑ:mləs]
adj. 无害的；无恶意的 - severely [高考]
美[sɪ'vɪrli] | 英[sɪ'vɪə(r)li]
adv. 严格地；严重地；严肃地；严厉地；朴实地 - vulnerable [高考]
美[ˈvʌlnərəbl] | 英[ˈvʌlnərəbl]
adj. 易受伤害的；有弱点的；脆弱的 - discomfort [高考]
美[dɪsˈkʌmfərt] | 英[dɪsˈkʌmfət]
n. 不便之处；不适
v. 使不适 - tactic [高考]
美[ˈtæktɪk] | 英[ˈtæktɪk]
n. 战略；策略 - utter [高考]
美[ˈʌtər] | 英[ˈʌtə(r)]
adj. 完全的；全然的；绝对的
v. 说；发出；表达 - disrespectful [高考]
美[ˌdɪsrɪˈspektfl] | 英[ˌdɪsrɪˈspektfl]
adj. 无礼的；不尊敬的 - intend [高考]
美[ɪnˈtend] | 英[ɪnˈtend]
vt. 想要；打算；意指 - status [高考]
美[ˈsteɪtəs , ˈstætəs] | 英[ˈsteɪtəs]
n. 地位；情形；状况，状态；身份 - phenomenon [高考]
美[fəˈnɑːmɪnən] | 英[fəˈnɒmɪnən]
n. 现象；奇人；奇事 - circumstance [高考]
美[ˈsɜːrkəmstæns] | 英[ˈsɜːkəmstəns]
n. 环境；详情；事件；(复数)境况 - awkward [高考]
美[ˈɔːkwərd] | 英[ˈɔːkwəd]
adj. 尴尬的；笨拙的；（设计）别扭的 - broadcast [高考]
美[ˈbrɔːdkæst] | 英[ˈbrɔːdkɑːst]
v.广播；散布；撒播
n.广播；广播节目
adj.广播的; 播音的; 广泛散布的 - optional [高考]
美[ˈɑːpʃənl] | 英[ˈɒpʃənl]
adj. 任选的 - now and then [高考]
美[naʊ ənd ðen] | 英[naʊ ənd ðen]
时而； 不时 - in part [高考]
美[ɪn pɑːrt] | 英[ɪn pɑːt]
部分地 - every now and then [高考]
美[ˈevri naʊ ənd ðen] | 英[ˈevri naʊ ənd ðen]
时而； 偶尔 - would [高考]
美[wʊd , wəd] | 英[wʊd , wəd]
aux. 将；可能；大概；总会；愿意；will的过去式 - perception [四级]
美[pərˈsepʃn] | 英[pəˈsepʃn]
n. 观念；洞察力；认识能力 - socially [四级]
美[ˈsoʃəlɪ] | 英['səʊʃəlɪ]
adv. 在社交上；在社会上；与礼貌行为相关 - buyer [四级]
美[ˈbaɪɚ] | 英[ˈbaɪə(r)]
n. 买方 - spouse [四级]
美[spaʊs] | 英[spaʊs]
n. 配偶
v. 和…结婚 - morale [四级]
美[məˈræl] | 英[məˈrɑːl]
n. 士气；斗志；道德准则 - would-be [四级]
美[ˈwʊdˌbi] | 英[ˈwudbi:]
adj. 想要成为的；将要成为的；假冒的
n. 想要成为…的人；假冒者 - gut [四级]
美[ɡʌt] | 英[ɡʌt]
n. 内脏；肠子；勇气，胆量；直觉，本能；(用于制网球拍、琴弦等的) 肠线
vt. 取出内脏；摧毁（内部）
adj. 本能的；（问题等）根本的 - sociology [四级]
美[ˌsoʊsiˈɑːlədʒi] | 英[ˌsəʊsiˈɒlədʒi]
n. 社会学；[生]群落生态学 - feel about [四级]
美[fil əˈbaʊt] | 英[fi:l əˈbaut]
v. 摸索 - intuition [六级]
美[ˌɪntuˈɪʃn] | 英[ˌɪntjuˈɪʃn]
n. 直觉；直觉的知识 - hostility [六级]
美[hɑˈstɪləti] | 英[hɒˈstɪləti]
n. 敌意；敌对状态；公开战争 - default [六级]
美[dɪˈfɔːlt] | 英[dɪˈfɔːlt]
n. 默认(值)，系统设定值；不履行，违约；；缺席，弃权
v. 违约，不履行义务，拖欠；默认，预设；弃权，未到场
adj. 默认的 - rapport [专八]
美[ræˈpɔr, -ˈpor, rə-] | 英[ræˈpɔ:(r)]
n. 关系；亲善；一致 - quirk [专八]
美[kwɜrk] | 英[kwɜ:k]
n. 怪癖；急转 - unrelated [考研]
美[ˌʌnrɪˈleɪtɪd] | 英[ˌʌnrɪˈleɪtɪd]
adj. 不相关的；无亲属关系的 - don [托福]
美[dɑn] | 英[dɒn]
n. 先生（西班牙用语）；(牛津、剑桥大学的)指导教师
v. 穿上 - misinterpret [托福]
美[ˌmɪsɪnˈtɜrprɪt] | 英[ˌmɪsɪnˈtɜ:prɪt]
v. 误解 - terms [雅思]
美[tɜːrmz] | 英[tɜːmz]
n. 条件；条款；关系；措辞
重点讲解
The Steel King, Andrew Carnegie, reportedly secured business deals by naming companies after at least one competitor and a would-be buyer, and maintained employee morale by calling his factory workers by their first name.
据传，钢铁大王安德鲁·卡耐基用至少一个竞争对手和潜在买家的名字为公司命名，从而确保达成商业交易；他还直呼工厂工人的名字，从而提振员工的士气。
be in jeopardy 处于危险中
【例】His life is in jeopardy.
他有生命危险。
【近义词】be in danger 处于危险中
【拓展】jeopardize v. 危及；危害
【例】The high inflation may jeopardize economic growth.
高通胀可能会危害经济增长。
“If you don’t do this,” Dale Carnegie warned his readers, “you are headed for trouble.” By Carnegie’s measure, plenty of people are in serious jeopardy. It’s not that they don’t remember what their friends and acquaintances are called; rather, saying names makes them feel anxious, nauseated, or simply awkward.
戴尔·卡耐基提醒读者：“如果你不这么做，就会陷入麻烦。”用卡耐基的标准衡量，许多人正处于严重的危险之中。他们并不是不记得朋友和熟人的名字，而是直呼姓名会让他们感到焦虑、恶心，或者很尴尬。
be in jeopardy 处于危险中
【例】His life is in jeopardy.
他有生命危险。
【近义词】be in danger 处于危险中
【拓展】jeopardize v. 危及；危害
【例】The high inflation may jeopardize economic growth.
高通胀可能会危害经济增长。
In 2023, a group of psychologists dubbed this phenomenon alexinomia. People who feel it most severely might avoid addressing anyone by their name under any circumstance.
2023年，一群心理学家将这种现象命名为“恐名症”。情况最严重的人可能在任何情况下都会避免用名字来称呼他人。
address v. 称呼；对某人说话
【例】You should address him by his official title.
你应该用官衔称呼他。
The king was addressed as "Your Majesty."
国王被称呼为“陛下”。
【近义词】call v. 称呼
【例】What should I call you?
我该怎么称呼你？
bring yourself to do sth 让自己做某事
【例】She could not bring herself to tell him the news.
她难以开口把这个消息告诉他。
【拓展】bring sb + adv./prep. 让某人处于某种状态
【例】The news brought him into a scandal.
这条新闻让他卷入了一桩丑闻。
What brings you here?
你怎么来了？/什么风把你吹来了？
For others, alexinomia is strongest around those they are closest to. Some people can’t bring themselves to say the name of their wife or boyfriend or best friend—it can feel too vulnerable, too formal, or too plain awkward.
对其他人来说，对于他们最亲近的人，恐名症表现最为强烈。有些人没法让自己喊出妻子、男友或最好朋友的名字，这会让人感到太脆弱、太正式，或者太尴尬。
address v. 称呼；对某人说话
【例】You should address him by his official title.
你应该用官衔称呼他。
The king was addressed as "Your Majesty."
国王被称呼为“陛下”。
【近义词】call v. 称呼
【例】What should I call you?
我该怎么称呼你？
bring yourself to do sth 让自己做某事
【例】She could not bring herself to tell him the news.
她难以开口把这个消息告诉他。
【拓展】bring sb + adv./prep. 让某人处于某种状态
【例】The news brought him into a scandal.
这条新闻让他卷入了一桩丑闻。
What brings you here?
你怎么来了？/什么风把你吹来了？
The social function of names in Western society is, in many ways, an outlier. In many cultures, saying someone else’s given name is disrespectful, especially if they have higher status than you. Even your siblings, parents, and spouse might never utter your name to you. Opting for relationship terms (auntie) or unrelated nicknames (little cabbage) is the default.
在西方社会，名字的社会功能在很多方面都是异于其他文化的存在。在许多文化中，直呼他人名字是不尊重的行为，尤其是对方地位比你高时。即便你的兄弟姐妹、父母、配偶，可能也从来不会直呼你的名字。人们会默认使用亲属称谓（阿姨）或非亲属昵称（小白菜）。
outlier n. 异常数据；异常的事物
【例】People who live past 100 are genetic outliers, whose longevity is unreachable for most of us.
寿命超过100岁的人基因异于常人，这种长寿是大多数人无法达到的。
Meanwhile, American salespeople are trained to say customers’ names over and over again. It’s also a common tactic for building rapport in business pitches, during telemarketing calls, and on first dates.
与此同时，美国的销售人员接受的培训是要反复说出顾客的名字。这也是在商业提案、电话推销、初次见面时，建立融洽关系的常见策略。
tactic n. 策略；手段；招数
【例】Confrontation is not always the best tactic.
对抗并非总是上策。
【搭配】a delaying tactic 缓兵之计
【辨析】strategy n. 战略
Names are a special feature of conversation in part because they’re almost always optional. When an element of a conversation isn’t grammatically necessary, its use is likely socially meaningful, Steven Clayman, a sociology professor at UCLA, told me.
名字是对话中的特殊元素，部分原因在于名字几乎总是可选项。加州大学洛杉矶分校的社会学教授史蒂文·克莱曼告诉我，当对话中的某个元素在语法上并非必需时，它的使用很可能具有社会意义。
optional adj. 可选的；非必需的
【例】Purchase of tickets is optional.
票可以买，也可以不买。
Some courses are compulsory; others are optional.
有些课是必修的，其他课是选修的。
【拓展】option n. 选择；选项
opt v. 选择
Clayman has studied broadcast-news journalists’ use of names in interviews, and found that saying someone’s name could signal—without saying so directly—that you’re speaking from the heart.
克莱曼研究了广播新闻记者在采访中对名字的使用，他发现，叫出某人的名字可以表明——而不是直接说明——你是在发自内心地说话。
optional adj. 可选的；非必需的
【例】Purchase of tickets is optional.
票可以买，也可以不买。
Some courses are compulsory; others are optional.
有些课是必修的，其他课是选修的。
【拓展】option n. 选择；选项
opt v. 选择
“It may be that folks with alexinomia have this gut intuition, which is correct, that to use a name is to take a stand, to do something—and maybe something you didn’t intend,” Clayman said. Another person could misinterpret you saying their name as a sign of closeness or hostility.
克莱曼说：“有恐名症的人可能是因为有一种直觉，这种直觉是对的，就是总觉得叫名字是在表明立场，是在做某件事，而且可能是你原本没打算做的事。”你叫出别人的名字，可能会被对方误解为这是亲近或敌意的表现。
take a stand on sth 对某事采取立场
【例】I will take a firm stand on this matter.
对于这件事，我的立场很坚定。
【近义词】take a position on sth 对某事采取立场
hostility n. 敌意；敌对
【例】I have no hostility toward you.
我对你没有敌意。
【拓展】hostile adj. 有敌意的；不友善的
【反义词】friendly adj. 友好的
friendliness n. 友好表示
Alexinomia is a mostly harmless quirk of the human experience. Still, if you avoid saying the names of those closest to you, it can skew their perception of how you feel about them. One of Ditye’s study participants shared that her husband was upset by her inability to say his name. It made him feel unloved.
恐名症是基本无害的、有些奇怪的人类体验。不过，如果你不喊最亲近的人的名字，这可能会让他们误解你对他们的感受。迪蒂耶的一位研究参与者分享道，她无法叫出丈夫的名字，丈夫对此感到很难过，认为自己不被爱。
skew v. 偏斜；歪曲
【例】The boat skewed off course.
船偏离了航线。
Biased questions can skew the results.
有偏向性的问题会让结果变得不准确。
【拓展】askew adj./adv. 偏斜的；歪曲的
【例】The picture on the wall was hanging askew.
墙上的画挂歪了。
As Dale Carnegie wrote, “a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Pushing through the discomfort and simply saying their name every now and then can remind your loved ones that you care.
正如戴尔·卡耐基所写，“在任何语言中，一个人的名字对那个人来说都是最甜美、最重要的声音。”克服不适感，时不时地叫出他们的名字，可以让你爱的人感受到你的关心。
skew v. 偏斜；歪曲
【例】The boat skewed off course.
船偏离了航线。
Biased questions can skew the results.
有偏向性的问题会让结果变得不准确。
【拓展】askew adj./adv. 偏斜的；歪曲的
【例】The picture on the wall was hanging askew.
墙上的画挂歪了。
课后练习
What is alexinomia?
A. A psychological disorder that makes people easily forget others' names.
B. A method of maintaining employee morale by calling workers' first names.
C. A phenomenon where people feel anxious or awkward when saying names.
D. A phenomenon where people feel anxious when called by their names.What can be learned about the social function of names in Western culture?
A. Using given names is always a sign of disrespect.
B. People usually use relationship terms instead of names.
C. Names have no special social function in communication.
D. Saying people's names can help build a close relationship.According to Clayman, what is the possible cause of alexinomia?
A. People with alexinomia avoid using names to show sincerity.
B. People with alexinomia don't understand the social meaning of names.
C. Broadcast-news journalists' use of names in interviews has a bad influence.
D. Using names might be misinterpreted and people with alexinomia are aware of this.What is the author's advice for those with alexinomia?
A. Explain to others why they have alexinomia.
B. Avoid using names to prevent misunderstandings.
C. Try to say the names of loved ones occasionally to show care.
D. Ignore the feelings of others who are affected by alexinomia.
